I wrote these paragraphs in my journal August 2015, two months after Wayne’s death. I am reading the same Bible passages this week and wanted to reflect on how far God has brought me since then.
“I’ve been reading in Genesis about Joseph’s disappointing life: being rejected and sold by his brothers, falsely accused of seducing Potipher’s wife and then put in prison, forgotten by the one he asked to remember him. But God did not forget him. What a great reminder! My life has recently brought a great disappointment of not being able to share the rest of my life with Wayne. He was not able to live in our new house but a short time. Our dreams were dissolved on June 1st. But wait! God does not forget. Jesus came to make a way of escape from our sinful condition. I cannot rely or trust in my dreams but I can rely and trust in God. His promises never fail. They are new every morning.”
“Joseph’s life was restored-he became a powerful ruler in Egypt and was able to save his people, God’s people, the nation of Israel from starvation. Joseph did not give up on God. I’m praying I’ll never give up on God even though I can’t see where God is leading me. Some days I feel like I’m in a prison of grief. I can only keep on trusting God to restore me to the place where He can use me for His glory.”
I thank God He has restored me to where I can function much better. I will start teaching a Sunday School class next Sunday at Winifred Road Church of Christ, where I have found a church home. I know God will never leave me alone even in my worse days. Sometimes the tears come and trusting is hard. God is still the solid Rock on which I stand!
“I love you, O LORD, my strength. The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold” (Psalm 18:1-2).
What a blessing that you wrote about a “difficult ‘before'” and the growth and coverings with which God Himself carried you through to new awareness and function. How we praise and thank Him! So often, friends may see a dear one move through a grief but your post gives God Himself the praise and thanks.
Thanks to you for sharing this very personal account.