Month: March 2017

I cleaned my desk today. It’s really Wayne’s desk–the one he bought as his retirement desk.  That’s a story for another day. The point is the dust was getting thick and the piles disorderly so I got busy and sorted, straightened, threw out and wiped off the dust.  It looks pretty good, if I do say so myself.  There is one corner I will get to another day.  You know those paper organizers that hold your papers upright in neat little sections. It’s not looking so neat. Thus, it will be another day’s job.

Cleaning the desk reminded me of how I live life.  Sometimes, I let clutter build up in my heart.  Yes, I read my Bible, I pray, and serve God in different ways.  But if I look closely there’s a bit of greed over in the corner of my heart. Yes, there’s even some pride piling up in another corner.  And would you believe? There are specks of deceit right there in the middle of the floor!

As a Christian I must guard my heart against these less-obvious sins. I would never murder, steal, or curse, but it is all too easy to let pride or greed slip in unnoticed. My friends may not see it at first, but if I don’t clear it out it will eventually be noticed.  Of course, God knows what’s there.

The Apostle John writes, “My dear children, I write this to you so that you will not sin. But if anybody does sin, we have one who speaks to the Father in our defense—Jesus Christ, the Righteous One. He is the atoning sacrifice for our sins, and not only for ours but also for the sins of the whole world” (1 John 2:1-2).  So Jesus is ready to clean and purify my heart if I confess and allow Him full access to every corner of my heart.  John writes in the first chapter of 1 John, verse 9, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”

So just as I have to clean the dust off this desk once in awhile, I also have to ask God to clean out my heart. I need to pray David’s prayer every day. “Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me” (Psalm 51:10).  I’m so thankful Christ is the great Forgiver and Purifier.

“Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates, so that your days and the days of your children may be many in the land that the Lord swore to give your forefathers, as many as the days that the heavens are above the earth” (Deuteronomy 11:18-21).

Moses spoke these words to the Israelites as they were preparing to enter the Promised Land. They are actually a repeat of words found in Deuteronomy 6. In fact, Moses repeated many times the words “follow the commands,” “pay attention to these laws,”  “observe the Lord’s commands and decrees,” and other similar words.  Moses knew he would not be allowed to enter the land but it was his responsibility to make sure they understood the seriousness of God’s commands.

I know we no longer live under the Old Covenant but these verses are a strong reminder of the importance of passing on God’s commands to our children.  The Apostle Paul says in Ephesians 6:4, “Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.”  Parents have the primary responsibility for this but I believe grandparents, other family members, and friends also are responsible for training and instruction of children in their sphere of contact.  Oh, I don’t mean we’re responsible for sitting down with our neighbor’s kids and teaching them a lesson. I mean our lives, our behavior, and our words will influence children.

Sometimes our actions don’t match our words. I remember one incident when my girls were at the age of learning to drive. We were on the Interstate highway and I missed the exit. I immediately slowed down and pulled onto the shoulder of the road.  As I began to slowly back up to the missed exit, I remember telling my girls, “do as I say, not as I do.”  We laugh about it today, but what I did was not a safe practice.  Fortunately, there was little traffic and we were safe.  I wonder though, have I told my girls it wasn’t nice to talk about their friends in a bad way and then turned around and gossiped about a neighbor down the street?  Did I teach my girls one thing and then turned around and did the opposite?

I’m sure all parents have failed to live up to what they “preached.” I always say I left a lot of empty spaces in my parenting and I’m grateful that God filled them in with his grace.  The point is God has called His people to be separate from the world. We are in the world, but not of the world.  God said to “be holy, because I am holy” (1 Peter 1:16).  To be holy is be set apart for a purpose. God’s people  honor and praise Him. The lives of God’s people must look different from the worldly way of life, even in parenting.  May God bless all of you who are still raising children, and may those of us who are on the other side of parenting remember our lives still influence children. I pray that children see God at work in us.

Springtime is such a wonderful time of renewal and hope! It’s also a sad time for me. I’ve had more tears lately.  Twenty-nine years ago my 38-year-old brother died in April. Three years ago my mom died in May, and two years ago my beloved husband, Wayne, died in early June.  I enjoy the early flowers and watching the budding leaves open on the bushes and trees. I always anticipate getting my hands in the dirt, planting seeds and watching them grow.  I guess one could say I’m a mixed bag of emotions right now. Time only eases the pain a little, it doesn’t take it away.

I wrote this prayer in my journal last July, “My love for Wayne was full and wonderful but my love for you, God, must be more. You are enough to fill the emptiness and loneliness of my life. Help me trust you!”

I have struggled with the meaning of what Jesus meant when he said, “Anyone who loves his father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves his son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me; and anyone who does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me” (Matthew 10:37-38). Did I love Wayne more than I loved the Lord?  And how do you measure love? After more study of this passage and the preceding verses, it seems Jesus is talking about times when our family may be divided because of our faith. Jesus said he came not to bring peace, but a sword indicating divided loyalties. Thankfully, our family was not divided.  Both, Wayne and I (as well as my mom and brother) considered God as our priority in life making our love for each other deeper. Thus, the deep pain.

The last part of that passage mentions the cross we must accept in following Jesus.  Jesus repeats these words later in Matthew 16:24-25. “Then Jesus said to his disciples, ‘If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it.’”  The cross means giving up self and suffering for the sake of Christ.  Yes, my loss is great and the loneliness sometimes intense but God is still worthy of my devotion and trust. I depend on God’s strength for my service to him.  His promises offer hope!