One Family’s Memorial Day

I just returned from the Murphy Family Reunion, which is held every year on Memorial Day weekend. I am posting a revised and updated copy of something I originally wrote several years ago. It’s longer than most of my posts but I hope it will be worth the read. I’m thankful for my late husband’s family legacy. His Christian upbringing was the basis for his faithful service to God and our almost 48 years of marriage were enhanced because of his parent’s faith.

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Nannie loved having her kids and grandkids visit her. She knew everyone’s favorite desserts and had them prepared before their arrival. She loved having all the family home at once, especially for Christmas or Thanksgiving, however that was seldom possible.  So she enjoyed families visiting one at a time whenever they could.

Marshall and Dot Murphy had seven children, five sons and two daughters. My husband was the middle child and he along with two of his brothers were preachers.  They couldn’t easily leave their churches at Christmas or Easter because there are usually special services at those times. Someone suggested that Memorial Day might be a possibility for a suitable time for the family to get together. So in 1976 Memorial Day became the day of the annual Murphy Family Reunion.

The day began early in the morning for Pappa and sons as they prepared for the pig roast. Those of us who wanted to sleep a bit longer would soon be awakened by the smell of smoke. The fire was burning and the pig was laid on a rack over the hot coals to cook.  In a few hours the savory aroma of cooking pork would infuse the air. Later, as portions of the pig came off the fire, the sound of chopping began. It was the job of daughters and daughters-in-law to chop the meat to be bathed in Nannie’s special barbecue sauce.  I, as one of those daughters-in-law, tried to find a different job. This was too much like the butchering days of my childhood which I dreaded. In spite of my feelings about the process, those barbecue sandwiches became the focal point of the meal.  As we gathered year after year it became apparent that certain dishes were prepared by certain family members and we anticipated the enjoyment of our favorite dishes.

A very pleasurable tradition instituted by Nannie was taking the young grandchildren to get Slurpees at the local 7-Eleven. Now that I’m a grandmother I understand she probably considered that the highlight of her day.  I know she always returned with a car load of smiling children cooling their tongues with various flavors of icy treats.  As the grandchildren grew older, she saw to it that they were entertained for a few hours at the local theme park–King’s Dominion.

From the beginning many friends were invited to these gatherings. Some friends of the family were present every year. Others were occasional visitors, but on this day they were welcomed as part of the family. Meanwhile, grandchildren grew up, married, and had babies of their own adding to our numbers. New lives were being added to our family, but just as there is birth there is death. There were aunts and uncles now missing from the family photos.

Over the years, as our families grew, life became busier. The pig roast became a thing of the past as grilled chicken took its place and finally already-prepared barbecue found its way to our feast. Food, though still important to the Murphy family, was taking second place to the enjoyment of being with each other.  Instead of spending time cooking at the grill, more time was given to playing games and a special time of recognizing birthdays and anniversaries. Everyone gets a gift for their multiple of five birthday or anniversary.

Once after Pappa’s health began to deteriorate, the sons temporarily reinstated the pig roast because they knew he enjoyed it so much.  Not long after that, Pappa made his debut to eternity. Nannie was with us ten more years until cancer took away her health and eventually her life. Suddenly, Memorial Day took on a whole new meaning. The annual gathering became a memorial for the mom and dad who had reared seven children. Then, the oldest son, later, his wife, died leaving us with memories of a brother and sister-in-law who always opened their home to us for dinner when we were in the area. Some years later, two more brothers were taken by cancer (one was my husband). This day is filled with a multitude of memories from years gone by. The grandchildren, who now have children of their own, are left with many happy memories of spending Memorial Day with their grandparents, aunts and uncles.

This annual gathering often gave opportunity for members of the family to worship together on that weekend.  One year was an especially unique worship experience for the whole family.  The little country church, in which Nannie and Pappa served with their growing family, was the location for the reunion. Through special arrangements with the congregation the Murphy family led and participated in the entire service.  Following worship we shared our meal with this congregation in appreciation for their Christian influence in the life of the Murphy family.

This year was the 42^nd family celebration and the children are now the older generation.  The responsibility of planning each reunion is rotated through the siblings each year. These are years to cherish our children and grandchildren. I do not know how long this Memorial Day gathering will continue. That will be decided by each generation to follow. Nannie and Pappa Murphy left a legacy of faithful service to the Lord’s Kingdom. The continuation of that legacy will likewise be determined by each succeeding generation.  We pray that the generations that follow will be found faithfully serving our wonderful Lord.

“Honor your father and mother–which is the first commandment with a promise–that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth” (Ephesians 6:2-3).